Some thoughts on Elimination Communication (or pottying a baby)

Many (most, maybe even all?) of you know that we practice EC with Little Miss. I know that many (again maybe all) of you think I'm a little crazy for this but hey, I live to make you roll your eyes :) We've recently turned a new corner and Little Miss frequently takes herself to the potty now, at least once a day. This is amazing and wonderful and blows my mind. But at the same time it's in step with the whole journey. By the standards of cultures where this is practiced, she is in fact late to the party. Girls in China are generally expected to be fully continent by 9 months, boys by 12 months.

Beyond the joy of not revisiting potty training hell again, I've been contemplating what this has meant to our relationship as mother & daughter. I had a difficult time bonding with Mr Man. I think that is equally due to the nature of his treatment at the hospital and by the doctor's after birth as well as the shock of motherhood and my inability to give myself over to it. I was so anxious about going back to that dark and difficult place when Little Miss was born. How would I care for two children while struggling with my own demons like that? Needless to say, it never went like that the second time round. Partly I think it was because I'm already in a mothering groove; partly because of the distinctly peaceful nature of a homebirth and partly because of my choice to EC. (I know, I know, you're really thinking I've lost it now! Bear with me). For us, the two of us, EC has meant a deeper and clearer connection. EC has forced me to pay attention when it would have been simpler to ignore. It has forced me more completely out of my own bubble and to really focus on my child. And I've been rewarded by seeing her develop as an independent little lady. Yes, I do think that is partly just her nature. But I think EC has fostered that in her. She is aware of her body in ways that amaze me. A while back, our Parent's as Teacher's representative asked me what I thought Little Miss does particularly well. After a moment I answered, "She communicates very well." This is so integral to who she is. Anyone who has spent any time with her sees that in her. And beyond how this has deepened our mother-daughter relationship, I can see how it has deepened my relationship with Mr Man. It has taught me to sit back and wait a minute and maybe he'll let me know what he really needs.

Here's hoping we can still communicate this clearly when she's 16!