Oops

This morning I spent an hour and a half resolving a conflict with the 4 yr old. He was happily carrying his "baby" Fluffy (a much loved teddy bear) around in his sling, making up all kinds of stories and doing all kinds of things. Part of their errands this morning was a special trip to a "honey-straw only market where they only sell honey straws." Mr Man told me all about this trip while I was drinking my coffee and them came to show me his handful of honey straws along with the extra cash he had after their trip. In a fit of silliness (read: insanity) I pretended to eat the whole handful of honey straws. Which made Mr Man unbelievably angry with me. He threw a full on tantrum and continued to upbraid and chastise me for another hour, repeatedly telling me how angry it made him that I had eaten the (pretend) honey straws.

Of course, I apologized. I tried explaining that it was silliness and not intended to make him angry or to hurt Fluffy or him. Nothing worked. I kept thinking we'd gotten through it when he would seek me out just to tell me again that he was really mad at me. I've never noticed a tendency to hold grudges before. And I still don't think this was evidence of that so much as I simply *really* made him angry. I tried to explain that it was make believe and when things went badly in make believe you could just pretend they never happened. I also paid him for more honey straws. Nothing.

What evolved, ultimately, was a conversation about forgiveness and emotion. I told him I had apologized. That I had asked for forgiveness and that it was now his responsibility to work through his anger until he was ready to forgive me. That might take time, cause I had really made him mad, but that there was nothing else I could do but say I was sorry. And that he had to quit nagging me about it. The work was his to do. And he lay down on his bed and read a book and came back about half an hour later to tell me he loved me and he forgave me. I'm not sure what the lesson is in here, but I hope we made some progress in something. If nothing else, I learned never to take a bear's honey straws, even in fits of silliness!